Tuesday, March 24, 2009

When Does a Mouse Become a Rat??

Last Thursday we celebrated Kelly's and Bailey's birthdays by going to Disneyland. It was an attempt to help Kelly forget what she was doing last year on her birthday.
Everyone went, except Jon, who is still in the doghouse.

The weather was perfect and the day was greatly anticipated. I thought Dave might burst before we finally got there. To say he is a Disneyland fan would be a grave underestimation of his feelings. In all honesty, however, we were mostly anxious to see how Bailey would react to the ULTIMATE overstimulating environment. We imagined her being enthralled with the colors and movements...and, of course, the characters.
I should have known better. It's my job. In the end, her experience with Disneyland was exactly what it should have been for a one-year-old - a perfect place to run, eat, and get lots of attention.

Here's a pictorial depiction of Bailey's Disneyland debut:


Strange men singing to her...

The Rat and His Girlfriend...

The BIG Rat and His Girlfriend....

Spinning Teacups.....


Aunt Lindsay Spinning Her Around...

Going Up and Down Stairs...

Making Funny Faces...


Drinking Dad's Powerade...

Watching Weird People...

Playing with the Trashcan...

Showing Off Her Svelte Figure...

Pushing Her Stroller...

Riding on Aunt Lindsay's Back...

Seeing Mom in a Funny Hat...

Hangin' with Aunt Lindz...

So, the answer to the question, "When does a mouse become a rat"???....When it scares your little, teeny, tiny grandaughter!!!! Shame on you, Mick!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I'm a Little Bit Country

I grew up with that awful D-I-V-O-R-C-E country music and I hated it. To this day I cringe when I hear Bluegrass or old country music. I'm talking about Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, and June whats-her-name??? Oh yeah...Carter.

So, after 18 long years of being tortured by that "throw yourself off a bridge" kind of music, I swore never to listen to it again. I held true to that until about 5 years ago. First, it was Kenny Chesney, then a little Garth Brooks, and finally came Rascall Flatts. And, soon I was converted. I don't, however, put them in the same category as those other old timers. My favorite songs by Kenny Chesney aren't really even country. They're more like island music. So, I guess I'm a semi-convert.

A couple of years ago Shelly (my good friend) and I decided to take our girls to Vegas to see Flatts in concert. It was a great trip and we loved the concert. So, when I saw they were coming to San Diego, I thought it would be a great night out for the "girls". We got great tickets and took off about 5:00 for the trek to Chula Vista (or, as we say, Chulaveesta). The traffic was horrible and we couldn't find anywhere to eat, so it was a quick stop at the TB, then on to Cricket Amphitheater.

Let me pause here to say that the trip alone, with Kelly and Lindsay jabbering the whole way, was worth the price of the tickets. If there's one thing that our Warner Women share it's love for a good belly laugh. An hour trip with them is sure to bring on some serious hee-hawing. Last night did not disappoint.

Jessica Simpson was the opening act and, of course, we couldn't wait to see her to check out how fat she was. Trust me, that's where the interest ended. When she came out,the first thing we said was, "She's got great legs!" Unfortunately we saw about as much of her other parts as her legs(note photo). About 10 minutes into her performance we all decided it was time for her to SHUT UP! It wasn't that her singing was so bad, it was just that we didn't go to see HER. She really is quite dumb sounding and I found myself getting a little embarrassed for her. I was happy to see her walk off the stage. (Oh, yeah.....she's a little chubby, but nothing to support all the hooplah!)

THEN, Rascall Flatts came out with a bang. They were amazing. The stage was electric. The music was flawless. They are masters at playing the crowd. It was everything we hoped. Only one problem....it was outside and it was 48 degrees! That's serious cold for wimpy San Diegans. Nevertheless, it didn't dampen our spirits one bit.

So, the concert was great. But, what I really enjoyed was spending time with my girls. I'm all for chalking up memories and this is one I'll have for a long time.
Twenty years ago I would have thought it impossible to be sitting in a country music concert with two beautiful daughters. Life is full of great surprises and for that I am grateful.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Dropping Shopping

It was a beautiful day in San Diego today, so Kelly and I decided to go to Fashion Valley (not Fashion Place) mall and roam around. Of course, The Bai went along. I was reminded of how different it is to shop with a baby - especially a very mobile baby. However, I decided it wasn't having Bai with us that was tough...it was the shopping itself. I sometimes wonder if I don't have masochistic tendencies. Going shopping is not fun. Even when I'm buying stuff, it isn't fun. So, why do I find myself doing it again and again and again? I honestly don't know. This is what I think about shopping:

1. Only when I'm in a hurry and don't have money do I find exactly what I want.
When I have money and time, I couldn't find something if my life depended on it.

2. The mirrors in dressing rooms should dispense Valium. By the time I exit I'm
ready to perform lipo on myself, without anesthesia. I don't deserve it. And,
must they have lights that turn my skin green and show every wrinkle????


3. There is NO shoe comfortable enough to withstand 5 hours of shopping. So, do I
go comfortable (sorta) and frumpy or stylish and screaming? Frumpy has been
winning. And, by the way, who does wear those 5" heels? Okay...so Lindsay does.

4. Today I saw some mannequins in a storefront that had to be size -0. No kidding.
There wouldn't be room for a kidney if they were real. Who in h--- wears those
sizes? Show me a size 14 in the window and I might go in and actually buy
something because I feeling svelte.

5. Sales clerks either stalk you or treat you like you don't deserve their
attention. That might have something to do with the frumpy shoes.

6. No matter how much I love something when I buy it, by the time I've pulled in
my driveway I've convinced myself that I would embarrass myself and my entire
family if I ever wore it.

7. Today I was trying on bras. Humiliating enough as it is. Then, a sales
clerk knocks on the door and asks if she can come it to check the size. WHAT??
I almost hung myself trying to get on a bra before she stepped in and saw what
even I don't look at in the daylight. Is nothing sacred?

8. When will they start making petite clothing that can be worn by anyone younger
than 75? I thought Gloria Vanderbilt died.

9. I won't even start on bathing suits.

10. Have you ever noticed that you have to add a couple of miles onto your shopping
route just to access the elevators when you have a baby in a stroller? I imagine
men were the architects. And, of course, once you find one, it's filled with
everyone except those who have strollers or wheelchairs.

11. How about teenagers at the mall??? They travel in herds and delight in throwing
stuff onto poor unsuspecting souls on the lower levels. It's real funny. And,
they act like.....well, they act like TEENAGERS!

12. Everything in stores should be computerized. If I choose to shop at a particular
store, then it is the store's responsibility to keep track of what I bought. It's
absurd to think that I should keep track of a receipt the size of a post-it note.

13. Statistically, there are more homicides in mall parking lots that anywhere else.
I, myself, have contributed to those statistics. I'm sorry, but women are the
worst. Is is really necessary to call everyone you know, put on your make-up,
polish you nails, and clean your teeth before giving up that sacred parking spot?
Apparently so.

14. One good thing about shopping and not finding anything is that you don't have
to worry about dislocating your shoulder hauling all the packages. When we
shop with Bailey, her stroller looks like a traveling refuge camp. It's filled
with everything except Bailey, who has been left to roam around and steal other
kids' binkies.

15. Last, but not least, is, whose idea was it to place FOOD COURTS in every mall?
I either eat before I shop and can't fit into anything smaller than a size 20 or
I'm so depressed after I shop that I stop by for a little chubby girl pick-me-
up. I think it's a conspiracy. They want us to buy clothes in 4 different
sizes. It's all about the money.

Note: All the above are null and void IF there's a great sale!!