Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It Ain't So Bad

I turned 56 on January 24th. There....I said it. I am over half a century old. I will never be 40 or 30 or 20 or even 50 again. And you know what? I don't care. When I was
twenty, fifty seemed ancient. I imagined myself in one of those electric carts rolling through K-Mart looking for deals on denture adhesives. But,I imagined that would be okay since I'd be suffering from dementia and not fully aware of my pathetic state.

What a surprise when I hit fifty and didn't feel that different than I did at 30 or 40 - except for the creaking bones and breasts so saggy that they reside in a different area code...oh...and the extra 30 pounds. Other than that (and a few more tiny little things) being 56 ain't that bad.

It's important for you "youngins" to know this. It would be a horrible waste for you to spend even an hour worrying about what you'll be like when you're 50 or 56. Trust me, it's not as bad as you think. As a matter of fact, I kinda like it. Here are some reasons why:

1. I don't have to worry about dying before I reach 50.

2. I'm expected to do ditzy things, so most people don't say anything when I can't
remember my kids' names.

3. I finally figured out who I am.

4. I get discounts on cruises.

5. I have a grandchild, which is like having a kid without the yucky stuff.

6. My psycho kids have turned into humans. It took 56 years.

7. I CAN sleep in if I want.

8. I don't have to ask permission to do anything.

9. I don't have a curfew.

10. I don't have to prove I'm a good wife and/or mother by baking the best cake
or raising the brightest, most perfect kids.

11. I can read any time I want.

12. I get to buy a pair of shoes without feeling guilty about it.

13. I don't have to please anyone but myself.

14. I like myself much more than I did 20 years ago.

15. I get to give "sage" advice to my kids and students - and anyone else who will

16. It's better than not being 56....which is DEAD.

17. I don't have to attend Back to School Night.

18. Or make Halloween costumes

19. Or drive the car pool.

20. I'm much more comfortable with being "round". (Not a good thing, by the way.)

21. I can spend more time playing with my kids and less time taking care of them.

22. I don't have to cook as much.

23. I'm old enough to have some "experiences" under my belt, but not so old that
I can't have lots more.

24. I qualify for AARP.

25. I don't sweat the small stuff. (a valuable lesson to learn).



  1. I must say that everyone of those things make me jealous and give me something to look forward to. I have always heard that getting older sounds a lot worse than it really is. You forgot to mention how beautiful you are. I think all of the above mentioned make you beautiful and that person that makes everyone around you happy. Having said that...I wish I was 56. 30 is kind of sucky right now.

  2. Fifty-six has never sounded so good! You crack me up Pandy! I can't believe you can get discounts on cruises. I think you have us all wishing away our youth by the sleeping in comment alone.

  3. I seriously am so jealous. I always look at my mom and think she's got the life. She gets to enjoy the grandkids, travel, sleep in, spend money and life looks pretty good. I'm looking forward to my "twilight years" Happy 56th! You look amazing by the way and I love your outlook on life.

  4. Can we switch roles for a week? I do think you and Linda have the PERFECT life right now. Everybody does their time in each stage of life. That's what I've had to tell myself lately while we've been potty training. Not a glamorous process......

  5. Even though I'm a little further down the road than the rest of them, I'm still knee deep in crap! I've been making Valentine cards and treats and boxes for days! I do get to sleep in, that is until my kids try to kill each other over the tv or cereal! At least it's nice to know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You make it look great