Wednesday, February 11, 2009
It Ain't So Bad
I turned 56 on January 24th. There....I said it. I am over half a century old. I will never be 40 or 30 or 20 or even 50 again. And you know what? I don't care. When I was
twenty, fifty seemed ancient. I imagined myself in one of those electric carts rolling through K-Mart looking for deals on denture adhesives. But,I imagined that would be okay since I'd be suffering from dementia and not fully aware of my pathetic state.
What a surprise when I hit fifty and didn't feel that different than I did at 30 or 40 - except for the creaking bones and breasts so saggy that they reside in a different area code...oh...and the extra 30 pounds. Other than that (and a few more tiny little things) being 56 ain't that bad.
It's important for you "youngins" to know this. It would be a horrible waste for you to spend even an hour worrying about what you'll be like when you're 50 or 56. Trust me, it's not as bad as you think. As a matter of fact, I kinda like it. Here are some reasons why:
1. I don't have to worry about dying before I reach 50.
2. I'm expected to do ditzy things, so most people don't say anything when I can't
remember my kids' names.
3. I finally figured out who I am.
4. I get discounts on cruises.
5. I have a grandchild, which is like having a kid without the yucky stuff.
6. My psycho kids have turned into humans. It took 56 years.
7. I CAN sleep in if I want.
8. I don't have to ask permission to do anything.
9. I don't have a curfew.
10. I don't have to prove I'm a good wife and/or mother by baking the best cake
or raising the brightest, most perfect kids.
11. I can read any time I want.
12. I get to buy a pair of shoes without feeling guilty about it.
13. I don't have to please anyone but myself.
14. I like myself much more than I did 20 years ago.
15. I get to give "sage" advice to my kids and students - and anyone else who will
16. It's better than not being 56....which is DEAD.
17. I don't have to attend Back to School Night.
18. Or make Halloween costumes
19. Or drive the car pool.
20. I'm much more comfortable with being "round". (Not a good thing, by the way.)
21. I can spend more time playing with my kids and less time taking care of them.
22. I don't have to cook as much.
23. I'm old enough to have some "experiences" under my belt, but not so old that
I can't have lots more.
24. I qualify for AARP.
25. I don't sweat the small stuff. (a valuable lesson to learn).