Friday, February 27, 2009
The Juan and Only
I remember, after having Kelly, thinking it would be impossible to love another child the way I loved her. Many mothers have told me they feared the same thing after having one child. Between Kelly and Jon I had three miscarriages and I began to wonder if I'd ever get a chance to challenge my fear. When Jon arrived, I, of course, learned what every mother learns and that's that your heart simply grows with each child. Jon was a welcomed, cherished little guy - until about the second week. That's when that sweet baby boy morphed into something straight out of an Alien movie. He cried every day and all day. He didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly three. He didn't like me and was never content until Mark came home and held him. I wanted to punch them both. To this day I don't know how I ever survived that first year.
It was a heavy price to pay, but in the long term, it worked out. By the time he reached one year he was the sweetest, easiest baby in the world. And, in all honesty, he has remained that way throughout his 26 years. When I think of Jon, I imagine an oasis in a hot, barren desert. He has been the calm in the middle of the two female storms we call our daughters. He doesn't whine (except for Snickerdoodles). He always makes me feel good. He is NOT emotional. He does what's right - most of the time. He is like a breath of fresh air. Here are some other reasons I love my Jon.
Describing Jon isn't easy. He is, by far, the least attached of my kids, yet he is probably the most sensitive and caring. Sometimes I think he tries to hide that side so he can appear more macho. But, mammas know all!
For as long as I can remember Jon has not liked change. He use to freak out at the suggestion of getting a new bedspread or rearranging his room. That remained the case until he went on his mission. Of all the great things he took from his mission, one of the most notable was his new found sense of adventure. I think he may have learned that the world is bigger than he thought and he didn't want to chance a door closing before he walked - ran - through it. I like this about Jon. He has assured me that he probably won't stay in San Diego - a thought that would put Lindz and Kelly in an institution. He doesn't hang around the house like the girls, but he remains connected in all other ways.
Over the years I have felt sorry for Lindsay at times for being the little sister. Jon takes his role as Big Brother very seriously. Maybe too seriously. I don't think he's ever liked a guy that Lindsay has dated....well, maybe one. He isn't nice about it either. I fear Lindsay will never find someone who can pass the Big Brother test. I know it irritates Lindsay, but I can't feel too bad about it. I always thought it would be so cool to have a big protective brother. Regardless, I think Jon will always "have Lindsay's back".
I know I sound redundant, but, like the girls, everyone likes Jon. Even though he claims to be a little "antisocial", his social life doesn't support that. I received several calls while he was on his mission from people who he had worked with. They couldn't sing his praises loud enough. They genuinely loved him and he has kept in touch with many of them. Everywhere he goes, he collects friends. It seems that every weekend Jon's got big plans with his group of buddies. He has millions of them....and most of them live in Sacramento. (A family joke...).
Hardly a week goes by that someone doesn't ask me why Jon isn't married. The answer is pretty simple. He's not ready yet. One sister in our ward told me that the reason they had moved to San Diego was so their daughter could marry Jon. No kidding. A bishop once told me that he wanted his daughters to marry someone just like him. Another said he hoped his son grew up to be just like Jon. Sometimes I feel like wearing a sign that says, "YES, HE'S 26 AND WONDERFUL, AND NO HE'S NOT MARRIED" - and I might add, NOT GAY. It's a pretty hard concept for some members to wrap their brains around. I learned a long time ago that Jon does things on his own timeline. However, if you happen to know a cute, great............ Sorry, Jon.
Jon has never been afraid or embarrassed to show his love for his family. Even now he kisses me every time he walks in the door and every time he leaves. Same for the girls. He is genuinely one of the most caring, compassionate men I've ever know. He has always been respectful to me. Even during the hard teenage years, he always showed me respect. That may have been due to Mark's threats, but I don't think so. He makes me feel important and very loved.
Manipulation is his game. He thinks he's been able to guilt me into doing most anything. "Okay Jon I'll cut your waffles." "Yes, Jon, just bring your laundry over." And, as a young boy....."Yes, Jon, I'll heat up your pajamas in the dryer...". I wonder if he ever figured out that I was onto him? Yes, I did all those things, but not out of guilt, rather out of the pure joy it gave me to see him so happy. Even now he probably thinks I don't expect him to call me every Thursday so I'll take him to lunch. He's sounds so innocent when he says, "Hey, Mom, just wondering what you're doing......."
Jon makes doing the right thing seem easy. I know it isn't...and he's told me so, but he seems to be immune to the pressures that most of us feel. He has been an example to me for as long as I can remember. I could always count on him....and I rarely had to worry about him. That was such a gift as he was growing up. He has always been easy to be around and easy to love. He has truly been my oasis.
You can relax now. I only have three kids, so I'm through with the bragging thing...until I do another post on Bailey. I can't help myself.