Friday, January 16, 2009

A Retail Tale


My sweet Lindsay is beautiful, talented, kind, and a great aunt to Bailey. However, she has a problem. She works at Nordstrom. Before Nordstrom, she was perfectly happy buying clothes/shoes at American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch, or Sun Diego. She didn't know YSL (Yves Saint Laurent) from Christian Louboutin. (I still don't, by the way.) Then, the contamination began. It started with a Marc Jacobs bag, then proceeded to Tory Burch shoes, and on to a Philip Lim dress. It hit like a tidal wave and shows no signs of receding.



The shoes and clothes she absolutely can't afford she "visits" on her breaks. And like a snake chasing a rat, she attacks the minute they go on sale. She has strategically placed "watchers" in certain departments who feed her addiction like a drug lord. They hold items that she "absolutely has to have", then flatter her until she can't resist. It's cruel.

Of course, Lindsay believes each purchase was "meant to be". "But, Mom, there was only one of these dresses in my size in all the stores....so it was fate when I found it in MY store!" She honestly believes that not purchasing one of these "cosmic gifts" is a form of neglect.

I can understand obsessions. I have a few of my own. But, what I'm really worried about is she has started sucking in the other family members. Mark was one of the first to go. ("Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly"...)He feels sorry for Lindz when her sales are down, so what does he do? He helps her out by buying a watch. Lindsay, the spider, is quite masterful at manipulating her dad. He just hasn't figured out that he'd be smarter just to loan her the money.

Others have fallen, too. Kelly calls Lindz before getting dressed just to make sure she doesn't commit some critical, life altering, fashion faux pas. I have hidden my Eddie Bauer jeans...I just can't take the insults. Even Jon has become a "Lucky" groupie. Once, Oakley refused to let us put his Petco shirt on him. He was holding out for Tommy Hilfiger.

It is what it is and I will have to adjust to this very shallow, materialistic side of Lindsay. However, what I saw today scared me witless. Our sweet Bailey was sitting on Lindsay's lap, in all her innocence, staring at a pair of designer shoes on the computer. Then, she reached out to caress them. Wasting not a minute, Lindsay handed her a credit card. I think I saw a sparkle in that sweet baby's eye.

I fear we have lost her...at the ripe ole age of 10 months!! PLEASE HELP!



11 comments:

  1. This is hilarious. Bailey is a lost cause. Rumor has it the kid has more clothes than most celebrities. I envy Lindsey. If I had her body, I would shop like that too. I would never be able to afford to work at Nordy's.

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  2. Ill say this, I call shenanigans! My love of Lucky jeans started pre-Lindsay at nordstrom days AND i only buy then during their twice yearly 50% of sale.

    I have not, and will not be, sucked in!

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  3. I am admittedly sucked in and I have NO money. So this is a problem. Not to mention that Bailey is the daughter of a mom with no money, so this leads us to the next problem....oh no....where will the money come from? I love the pictures!! Lindz...what are we to do, what have you done to my child!!!

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  4. Is Bailey standing on her own? No fair. Ryan is so fat he can barely roll around.

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  5. Bailey took her first steps at around 8 months and now she's all over. However, she WILL NOT crawl. She does this funny seal scoot on her tummy. We're considering calling SeaWorld to see if they need a new act. She never stops moving...and isn't happy if she isn't walking around with someone. I've warned Kelly that it's going to be a wild ride with her.

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  6. Bailey is so adorable. I can't believe she is already moving everywhere. Now what color is her hair? I couldn't tell from the pictures. It's no wonder she is so spoiled by family because she is so stinkin' cute.

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  7. What hair??????? What she does have is either brown or reddish depending on the light and probably curly.

    Yes, she is spoiled.

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  8. I know..Bailey doesn't have a ton of hair. After having 2 completely bald babies any amount of hair is exciting. She does have more hair than the last time I saw her. I think before you know it she'll have a thick head of hair. (sometimes I wish I didn't have to worry about doing Kate's hair every single day, if I don't she looks like an orphan.)

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  9. I love that Bailey caressed the shoes! I'm sure her fashionista ways have NOTHING to do with a grandma who loves to buy her cute clothes!

    Now I want to see a post of Lindsey's favorite jewelry, shoes, etc. You guys are lucky to have an expert in the family--and to share her discount!

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  10. Can I just say how jealous I am that you have Lindsey. I use to have Heidi help me out, but now even she is married and old! I've been on my own for a while now, and it's not pretty!

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  11. I'll rent her out for a small fee, Amy!!!!!

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